Many times when I see clients, one of their main concerns, if not the main focus of their entire visit, is finding a partner or navigating the treacherous seas of the dating world. Over time, this has led me down a very different path and I have started to combine my spiritual counseling, with coaching on matters of dating.
I have started to fine tune and eliminate patterns that often were unrecognized by my clients before, yet were clearly sending out the wrong messages to those they have dated. I was amazed at how much effort had been put into getting the date, yet there was so little thought given to the specifics; interpersonal relation, perceptions, partner potential.
Some of these people are highly analytical and very detail oriented, yet when it comes to dating, most seem to float around in a haze of uncertainty and doubt. If you are like most people, you learned the basics; how to navigate in society, how to care for yourself, but there is a lack of knowledge about the topic of dating or romantic involvement.
For all of you currently in relationship or marriage, remember that it is easy to loose track of the ‘big picture’ and get hung up on the ‘small stuff’. Thankfully we overcome these upsets, but next time the occasion of frustration arises, try to stop yourself before you get entangled in the details, drain your energy and waste your time. Ask yourself, “Does this even matter?” Will it matter in 1 month, 1 year, 10 years?
If at least twice you conclude that it is non-issue, brush it aside and move forward happily without further discussion, and a smile on your face. The time with your partner is too precious to get caught up in what does not matter in the bigger picture. Instead give each other a hug and kiss and go for a nice walk. That truly is time well spent.
With much love,