O my heart that I received from my mother, my heart that I have had since birth, my heart that was with me through all the stages of my life, do not stand up against me as a witness! Do not oppose me at the tribunal! Do not tip the scales against me in the presence of the Keeper of the Balance! You are my ka of my body, you are the creator god Khnum who makes my limbs sound. Go forth to the Hereafter…
In the Egyptian Book of the Dead, the key to the entrance of heaven is a heart that is lighter than a feather. How is it possible to take a heart that has lived a full life and gone through all of the trials and tribulations, despairs and betrayals that this life has to offer and have it come out lighter than a feather?
The Justice card represents not only the actual definition of Justice, “the use of power as appointed by law, honor or standards to support fair treatment and due reward.” (www.yourdictionary.com), from the dualistic paradigm from which we have all sprung, but also the capacity to allow for new perspectives that will bring balance and reconcile us within the new paradigm we have just begun. This card asks us to take a look at our lives with the objective of creating a lighter heart; to take stock of all that has created the circumstances of our current lives and find the positive. To find the gifts in the wounds.
Open my eyes so that I can see,
The part my judgements play in me.
Accept my grateful words of praise
For the love of life that’s set ablaze.
I recall my spirit to the sacred fire
Where burns my heart’s purest desire.
I banish all jealousy so I may replace
Envy’s burden with the state of grace.
I will offer kindness in the face of pain
Leaving revenge in the shadow’s domain.
I embrace forgiveness so I will know
The grace of blessing every friend and foe.
~ Jamie Sams,
Dancing the Dream vbcx
When we look back on our lives it is often easiest (at least for me) to remember the difficult times, the hurts and challenges that have influenced our lives, the betrayals and regrets. The Justice card asks us to take a different perspective, to view those same events through the lens of spirit, the part of ourselves who chose those experiences and relationships for our highest healing and learning.
When the Justice card makes its appearance, there is a directive for the querent (the one who is asking the question) to take a good look at their entire life with an eye for the positive, that which creates a light heart. This can be likened to looking for the stones that have darkened our Bowl of Light and pulling each one out and tossing them aside by seeing and acknowledging, offering gratitude for the gift in each negative experience.
Each child born has at birth, a Bowl of perfect Light. If he tends his Light it will grow in strength and he can do all things – swim with the shark, fly with the birds, know and understand all things. If, however, he becomes envious or jealous, he drops a stone into his Bowl of Light and some of the Light goes out. Light and the stone cannot hold the same space. If he continues to put stones in the Bowl of Light, the Light will go out and he will become a stone. A stone does not grow, nor does it move. If at any time he tires of being a stone, all he needs to do is turn the bowl upside down and the stones will fall away and the Light will grow once more.
~Pali Jae Lee & Koko Willis,
Tales of the Night Rainbow
This seems to require/inspire actual homework/soulwork in which the querent is to create a timeline (remember the timelines in our history books?) that illustrates his or her life from birth to the present moment. On this timeline we note all of the positive memories we can access, and when we get to the painful memories we take a moment to “Flip the Coin” on these and find the gift.
Each wound is the doorway to a gift. We look at those situations in our life that were the most challenging and difficult, those moments our personalities want to wholly reject as something we would never actually choose to experience, rather than realize that our spirit has in fact chosen the experience for us as an opportunity for holy transformation. And as we recognize the holy opportunity, we can actually slip through the hole and find our wholeness.
The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
It was in my 30’s, after struggling for over 20 years with the major issue in my own life, being abandoned by my father at the age of 10, that this idea was first offered to me. During a healing session, an incredible local healer asked me to consider the possibility that “last time” I had been the father who had abandoned my daughters and to imagine what that might have felt like. And then she asked me to consider the idea that “this time” my father (who had been my daughter) & I (who had been her father) had agreed to return and s/he would offer me the opportunity to experience the other side of the situation. This was mind and heart blowing. (And also the idea beautifully put forth in the story Little Soul and the Sun by Neale Donald Walsch)
I was astounded at the idea of taking in and feeling the situation from all sides and being gifted with the opportunity to really feel the pain of abandonment I had caused before. Karma can be instantaneous, I have sworn at the person who scared the wits out of me when they cut me off on the freeway only to then inadvertently cut someone else off and be sworn at even more vehemently. (This precipitated the “no verbal violence zone” that is the inside of my car.) For these are the opportunities for us to consciously, purposely and with great love, step off of the wheel of karma, stop and complete the cycle. This, to me, is the foundation of Ho’oponopono:
Divine Creator, Father-Mother-Child as One,
If I, my family, relatives and ancestors have offended you, your family, relatives and ancestors in thought, deed and actions from the beginning of creation to the Present, we ask your forgiveness.
Let us cleanse, purify, release, and cut all negative memories, blocks, energies and vibrations and transmute these unwanted energies into pure Light.
And it is done.
I LOVE YOU
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
I AM SORRY
It is from this place that forgiveness is actually possible. From what other perspective could we possibly offer forgiveness to those who have harmed us? Jesus said “Forgive them for they know not what they do”, and this makes sense on a whole new level to me now. And if only 3% of our actions and decisions are actually conscious, and the rest is coming from our unconscious, I have to add “AND forgive ourselves for we know not what we do”!
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.
When I realized that I was being given, had actually chosen, the opportunity to forgive what I had, in this lifetime vehemently labeled the “unforgivable” from my personality’s perspective, my frame of reference was re-oriented and I was able to see and feel the entire situation from a completely different, whole and holy perspective. The healing was exponential. A few years later, when I was reminded on another incredible healer’s table that what I felt was being withheld from me was actually what I came here to give, I again had the opportunity to deepen my forgiveness for the situation and continue to reach out in love to my father from another level.
Forgive everything that has ever happened
life is everything we can imagine
laid out in patterns of pain and passion
you cannot control it
so keep your compassion
There are no accidents
there are no factions
there is no us or them
nothing to borrow or lend
no enemy or friend
and only forgiveness can make that happen
The only battle worth the fight
from the Rwandan genocide
to the Seven Sisters forgiving Orion for chasing them across the skies every night
is for giving
so give yourself this gift from time to time
and let all of your mistakes
become all of your greatest gifts
(Spoken Word in The song Forgive by Trevor Hall)
And when my father died, 4 years ago, just after my 42nd birthday, I hadn’t expected to feel the other end of a Tug of War rope give way. I had thought that I had forgiven him and stopped fighting, and knew that consciously I had done all I could to heal the situation from my side. I had even figured that once he was on the other side, seeing from that spiritual perspective, that he would be able to forgive himself. So the beauty of the situation, that with his death as he let go of that struggle of ours to come into right relationship with each other, this release became his parting gift. I have felt him, strongly since his death, from the other side, acting as guide and protector, being able to take up the role he was not able to take up in our physical life together. So with his death, I forgave him, & myself, on an entirely new level I hadn’t even realized existed until he let go. Thank you, Dad!
On my own timeline, where I marked the abandonment by my father, I now mark not only the gift of becoming an independent and strong woman who has learned to take care of herself and has learned to love a man outside of the old paradigm of romantic relationships, but also, more importantly, I am a human who has forgiven what I had considered the unforgivable. Through the hardships and pain created through our relationship & life circumstances, I have learned to actually open my heart and love more, not in spite of the past but because of it. And I am truly SO GRATEFUL to my father for doing this with me, again. It could not have been easy to wear that cloak of shadow that he took on.
Tug Of War
Looking at the rope
in my hands before me
from the other end
I hadn’t even realized
I was still playing
Until you let go
Now I feel you
Around me, behind me
Holding my end of the rope
You remind me
What a useless game it is
This Tug of War
Unless, of course,
I’m playing for fun.
~Kristine Marie Haugh, 2012
My heart is light around this situation. And this is what the Justice card is asking of us. It is not for the faint of heart, and yet once we begin it gets easier and easier. Those stones get lighter and lighter as we forgive ourselves and others. Eventually we can just turn the whole bowl over and really feel our own bowl of light in its wholeness, its holiness, without any stones at all.
It is from here that we are actually able to create heaven on earth.
Come on in on Sunday, October 2nd and on my “usual 4th Friday” this month on October 28th, to see how the cards & I can assist as you remove the stones from your bowl of light!