So you’d like to grow a loving relationship…
Growing a relationship is the same as healing a relationship. Physical growth, at it’s basic element, involves a cycle of cells dying off with new ones constantly being manufactured to replace them. This process happens routinely and un-noticeably when the body is healthy, but more distinctly and noticeably when the body is working to correct an imbalance which we call “sickness”.
It’s easier to grow our physical bodies because our cells are programmed for healing and automatic repair. As long as we feed the body the right foods, get enough sleep and exercise, this growth process largely takes care of itself. Even physical ailments can correct with simple remedies and/ or medicines.
Growing loving relationships however can be a different story. Have you ever experienced having the same argument over and over again with a loved one? Have you had a pattern of relationships left at a “distant dump site” or buried in our “psyche’s junk drawers”? How can we stop having the same argument over and over again? What can be done to grow our relationships into more loving, connected experiences? How can intuitive energy healing principles be applied to grow and heal any ailing or stunted relationship?
Remember nothing is static and all things are moving and changing.
When a relationship suffers stagnation or a block in the energy-exchange of two people occurs, there is a tendency to buy into one’s judgment about what is happening, which usually focused on why the other person is to blame or what “they” need to change. This usually leads to “it’s not changing because they are a certain way and will always be that way”. It’s important to notice, when these perceptions arise, they do so simply to explain away our discomfort. They have nothing to do with the truth that all things are changing and evolving. Every breath we take new cells are forming. Thus, do not limit your loved one, by saying that they are “always going to be that way” or “they’ll never change”. This simply is not the deepest level of truth, but a degree of perception that you can easily change.
To say “they will never change” is only to set an energetic limitation to their field of possibilities. If you want unlimited possibilities for yourself, then it behooves you to hold the same vision out for the person you love. Change, transformation and growth are inevitable, otherwise we would not be the people we are today. It’s inherent in the human growth process. If we work at it consciously we can have some amazing transformations, but even if we paid it little attention, growth and progress would happen anyways. Hold a vision of wellness and kindness for your loved one they can attain to and one you’d be most happy with. The most difficult thing about doing this is our attachment to needing to be right about our perception or story line.
Lasting change starts within us. Growing a relationship starts with our own inner growth.
How we relate to ourselves dictates how we relate to others. Our relationships with our Selves can suffer the affects of neglect because the psyche believes outside of it’s Self is where the solution is, leading us to put a lot of energy and focus on the other person or “the relationship”. However, the main key to growing our relationships is through uncovering the parts of ourselves hidden from our conscious awareness. For when we discover the sources within, responsible for our inner discomfort, (which usually have little to do with the details of a circumstance) we empower ourselves to heal and re-create a new awareness and new awarenesses result in external changes. When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. Inner growth can be self-facilitated through the many books and tapes on the the topic of self transformation or it can be guided with a trusted mentor, coach, healer or therapist. Either way, investing in yourself at this level will positively impact your relationship with all of your loved ones, as well as, your relationship to your career, to money, to your goals and projects. It’s the best investment you could make, since lasting change inside leads to lasting change outside. Which ever path you take, may it go very well with you, as you consciously add some positive intention to the inherent flow of growth and healing energy.
Lani Reagan is at Paradise Found on the 3rd Sat of every month for readings, and teaches an Intuitive Energy Healing workshop the 3rd Tuesday of every month (book in advance through Paradise Found), in addition to coaching clients privately.