I dreamt of an angel dressed in gold, golden hair floating on the breeze slipping out from the fluttering wings that pushed me sideways. I peered around desire, reached out to hold onto fractured belief as it suddenly tumbled over the edge of rationality. The absence of the Moon made me feel that much lonelier. After awhile I dove into the abyss rather than stand in between wanting and knowing, a combination of courage, desperation and inevitability urged me there. The letting go was not even a thought. The letting go occurred. There is nothing to hold onto in any case.
This New Moon: Communicating through the spirit of equilibrium, communicating without words. Knowing without speaking what wants to be expressed. Feeling that the lack of effort is the most natural thing like the easy way in which butterflies are lifted from flower to bush.
Libra, where we look to the other to reflect to us—am I missing anything? What do I not see about my self that this other shows me? How I judge my self? Where I project my own fears? How I love my self…once we are past all of that, and it does happen to a greater or lesser extent for many people, what shows up is another aspect of Venus that is compassion, from the depths of the heart, great empathy for the human condition as it is all me. When I love my self, I love all things—one and the same. I do not support the story but am available as the essence of the Absolute, God, Allah, “that”.
We need not fear this Being that is beyond suffering. It does not mean ‘disappearance of this’, only a lack of attachment to this in a way that is not peace and harmony. How we define things can limit our opportunity to ‘let go’ or to commit to the pathless path; the journey to awareness—there is no separation only when I take things personally do I create separation or when I judge things or do not accept what is in this moment.
The need to get somewhere, do something, accomplish something along the path may cause frustration, anger, sadness but there is nothing for us to do as what we desire is our true nature—do not cling to any thoughts as truth. They are all based on the past. Have patience.
“Sip the tea. This is not a race. The experience goes on and on…”—Vanessa Stone
When we sip the tea imagine a clear sky, a comfortable chair. There is no where to go and no one to go anywhere. Rest in the knowing that everything I need is right here, right now in this moment. Whatever appears on the screen of awareness is based upon a thought from the past and no matter how ‘unsettling’ to the ego do not become immersed in the drama. It may be true that no matter what we do it has no effect at all upon the true nature that which is ‘no matter’ what. Family calamity, political injustice, the abuse of personal power, has no effect upon the Absolute. It is the Absolute. Choice happens, reaction happens but the apparent result of these has no importance as it does not alter what is.
This New Moon: Is conjunct the fixed star Markeb in the constellation Argo Navis the great ship that carried Jason and the Argonauts to their goal of acquiring the Golden Fleece. Markeb is situated in the buckler of the ship. That is a position aft, a cover for a portal there that prevents water from accessing the interior of the ship. Like a shield then it is associated with protection and in times of turmoil offers safety from elements that might otherwise turn the ship upside down (?). It instills great trust in whatever is happening and the realization that it is as big or small as my mind tells me it is. If my mind remains quiet, it is nothing at all. It is nothing at all.
The ego is lost. It finds no employment here. In the vast emptiness there is nothing for it to do, nothing to control. Breathing happens all by it self. The mist lifts to reveal calm waters that remain no matter what appears to be going on externally to that. I access the stillness. I am the stillness.
New Moon, in the darkness I see nothing, feel only my heartbeat. As the sun rises, the movie begins; the mind is called into action with its endless stream of suggestions. When once again I fall asleep there is nothing. If only, when the movie begins again, I might not recite the story of what I think is going on so that what is really happening might be witnessed without interpretation.