“The wishes of the soul are springing,
The deeds of the will are growing,
The fruits of life are maturing.
I feel my destiny,
My destiny finds me.
I feel my star,
My star finds me.
I feel my goals in life,
My goals find me.
My soul and the world are one.
Life grows more radiant about me,
Life grows more arduous for me,
Life grows more abundant within me.”
~ Destiny Verse by Rudolf Steiner
Ahhh the star, the most hopeful card in the tarot! When I look up into the night sky I recognize how small I am and how there must be a grand plan in all of this. I am/we are an integral part of this vast universe, perhaps only in that we are conscious of it.
As the card of the age and the sign of Aquarius; the Star card reminds us, as spiritual beings having human experiences, why we decided to come here and what we had planned to do once we got here.
Our physical bodies, brilliant and amazing product of billions of years of earth evolution as they are, are also slow and dense compared to our spirits, our higher selves, which in moments of “inspiration” reveal to us why we are here, what we came for. I am turning 50 this year, on February 3, and it’s high time I realized and consciously embodied my soul’s purpose for incarnating.
“Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth…Love is as love does. Love is an act of will – namely both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.”
~ M. Scott Peck
Choose Love as Your Life’s Purpose
I had a powerful moment inspiration in 2014 after I had returned from my time in South Africa, living in a constant flow of transition and healing and not yet having found my grounding into a permanent place to live or work back in Southern California. I woke one morning with a very regal voice that made the following announcement:
“We are here to LOVE, ourselves and each other; and in doing so we are changing the very definition of LOVE for ourselves, each other, the world and all of creation.”
This prime directive has been the guiding star by which I have traversed my life since then. And while I am not perfect, I strive to always find my way backwards, forwards and all the way through to, with, and anchored in, love. I created the word “IlluminAnchor” and use it often to convey the intention, experience and commitment to being an anchor of love and light in the world, regardless of what is happening around me.
The Destiny Verse by Rudolf Steiner offered at the beginning of this article was given to me, as a verse for my work in this lifetime, by my Eurhythmy teacher during my Waldorf Teacher Training in 1995 and came to me again when I realized that Aquarius and the Star tarot card were the subject of this month’s article.
I hadn’t read the verse in several years, and looking at it again one line gave me pause. “Life grows more arduous for me,” just didn’t seem hopeful and inspiring, until I remembered an M. Scott Peck quote from the book “The Road Less Traveled”, which I read around the same time:
“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”
~ M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
“As the pressures of life bear down upon us, we are blessed with the Sun and Mercury both moving into Aquarius…Just like with a car crash, Saturn running into Pluto brings an upheaval and it will take some time, most likely the rest of the year, to settle…
But none-the-less, with gratefulness we can go forward, perhaps with a newfound drive, toward a goal that we had perhaps set aside or thought unreachable or unworthy, but as a result…we begin to consider again…
With determination, willpower, and strength, may we find our way to join forces with others of like mind and have a positive impact on the future course of events. Aquarius is sure to enlighten us, let us hope it is gentle.”~ Kaypacha, Pele Report
The Tower: Not an Ending but a Transformation
As I am writing this article I am in the midst of a very powerful, and as some have reflected, very arduous, tower experience. I’ve been liberated from a job that came into being magically, at the perfect time (along with a nearby affordable apartment), when I was in great need of some stability in March of 2018.
This job has been a financial blessing and an incredible, transformational journey of boundaries, self-love and love for others. The circumstances offered to me by life mirror and circle back to a major transformation that happened for me in 2011…
I am even in the same apartment building I was in back then (although upstairs and in the back rather than downstairs and in the front) and the job was with an institution similar and strongly connected with the previous institution I worked at in 2011.
As it was all falling into place, in the beginning, I saw myself coming full spiral into something I was going to have the opportunity to heal…and now here I am in the thick of it! And it feels like perfect timing and just the right thing I’ve been preparing for all my life.
The difference with this job is that I had learned from the previous experience, to honor myself and so was hired at a good salary into an up-leveled position; I knew my worth and asked for what I needed and wanted, and received it. I am a relational person in everything I do and the relationship with who I work for and with is equally as important to the work I do.
This job started out as a temp position and it very quickly became clear, through not only my capacity for the work, but also the relationships I created in a short time with the person I worked for and the other people I worked with, that this was the right place for me at that moment. My new boss & I shared a history of the study of Anthroposophy (the spiritual philosophy of Rudolf Steiner, creator of Waldorf Education & Biodynamic gardening) and his wife had been a Waldorf teacher.
“The letter Tzadi is related to justice (Tzedek) and to doing justice. It is also related to taking a position in life,* without which, the great magnet of day to day life can, eventually, determine fates.
It suggests an alternative and a choice, in the time that we have, between a path filled with grace or a dead-end road that eventually leads to destruction…
*Taking position relates here to the connection between a person and his purpose and not to taking sides, which can stem from subjective judgment that is disconnected from true justice.”
~ Erez Grinboim, The Genetic Code of the Hebrew AlphaBet
A few months after I was hired, my boss stepped down due to illness and passed away before the end of the year. My new boss was not a relational or communication match with me at all; and, despite that, yet still wondering what the heck the universe had in mind with this sudden switch, I moved forward, and instead of bolting or running away, I put on my big girl panties and made the best of it.
I continued to build and maintain incredible collegial relationships with everyone around me, and hoped to come into what I considered positive communication and relationship with my new boss. Even though I did not feel invited to bring all of myself to the position, I brought what I could, hoping for an opportunity to present itself so that I could understand why I was there and what I really had to offer and to learn.
“But make no mistake about it, Saturn-Pluto also has to do with falling apart, as Saturn symbolizes structures (outer and inner) and Pluto the inexorable processes of transformation.
Whatever life structure, habitual attitude, relationship, or story no longer provides real sustenance to the psyche, in other words is no[t] serving life, Pluto comes along to dismantle…
There are an awful lot of endings going [on] but all this decomposing is for the sake of new life. Pluto arrives showing us how our energy that is trapped in old complexes and worn out situations is ripe for resurrection.” ~ Safron Rossi, Hekatee at the `Crossroads of Saturn and Pluto’
Choose Your Position with Purpose and Intention
Fast forward 18 months in which I never truly felt able to connect with my new boss or embrace her style of management, and so I decided I needed to change jobs, and thought a perfect opportunity had arisen in a different department. Instead, it appeared my boss also knew it wasn’t working and had decided to end our working relationship as well, in her own way.
While I had hoped we might be able to resolve things, I emailed her a letter of possibility and appreciation for our work together a few hours before I took a letter of resignation into our final meeting on January 15, 2020.
This is not the first time this type of situation has come up in my work life; I have long spoken my truth to another’s power and not been appreciated for it. And what I realize now, especially because I am writing this article (thank you sweet Universe and the laws of perfect timing), is that this is my position to take up in my life, my purpose, my Tzadi: that love and kindness, authenticity, relationship, communication, and strength in vulnerability are truly powerful and I live my life faithful to those elements and principles.
At the same time I am looking deeply (and lovingly) at myself and my patterns and my shadow to see what else I have to learn from this situation. Perhaps I need to find a new way to communicate these things…I wonder what is truly going on here.
“Without taking positions, there is no commitment, and without a commitment, there is no real progress beyond convenience. It is not enough to take a non-committed position – responsibility must be taken for the consequences of this position.
Without taking a clear position, it is impossible to know if we made a mistake. If we will not walk on the path of justice and take positions, the magnet of life will turn us into another commodity in the thriving culture of consumption.
The question asked by Tzadi is: Are you willing to pay the price of the positions you have taken, or do you prepare excuses in advance?” ~ Erez Grinboim, The Genetic Code of the Hebrew AlphaBet
This liberation is providing the recognition of not only my gifts and my dedication to light and love in the world, but also to the fact that I am amazing and powerful in my own right, despite the fact that I have no discernible “power position” in the outer world.
Be True To Yourself
I am powerfully aligned with my heart and my spirit and myself. My dedication to the superpowers of love and vulnerability catapult me through my life in the best way possible, even though those who imagine true power exists elsewhere do not appreciate my definition of power and even see it as weakness.
I stand strong in my position for the importance of love, connection and relationship, in every aspect of my life; and have been freed for it. I imagine that there is something to come that is even better for me, opportunities to offer my service to the world with even greater enthusiasm… In the midst of it all I am reaching for my star.
To this end, when others, who have witnessed my process, the joy and the pain, the difficulties and the celebrations and ask me how I am doing, I let them know that I am okay, and in fact:
“I am actively replacing worry with wonder, anxiety with excitement, and rancor with gratitude, all for the sake of my own heart and well-being. AND
I am looking forward with great anticipation of things good, wonderful and successful beyond my imagination!”
~ Kristine Thandeka Marie
It has happened before for me, back in 2011; I know of what I speak.
“The fact of the matter is that Life can be cruel…Our little egos cannot grasp or comprehend the infinite intelligence of Life/Source/Creator and are often thrown around like bobbers on the ocean waves. We (our ego/bodies) are not immortal, we are not omnipotent, invincible, all-knowing, or all-powerful by any means.
We are actually quite fragile, dainty, and easily hurt, whether we admit it or not. However, tho’ the flesh is weak, the Spirit is strong! We imbue these bodies and these lives with our indomitable, multidimensional, infinite soul-nature and that’s where the fun begins!
As co-creators with Source, we incarnate to knead, push, mold, carve, shape and play with this material world in our own unique way, using our own unique gifts. And that inventive spirit is what Aquarius is all about. We’ve been bumped around lately over the rocky road of Saturn/Pluto, but now is the time to regain our footing, take the materials (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) at hand, and get on with re-inventing reality!
Best done with a little help from our friends, says Aquarius!” ~ Kaypacha, Pele Report
So dear ones, how are you navigating these current turbulent times? Where are you in your “positions”? What is your Tzadi? Have looked up in the night sky towards your star recently?
Please come by on Saturday, January 25, 2020 to see what’s in your cards and how to move forward into the New Year in the best possible way.
Much Gratitude, Many Blessings and More Love,
Kristine Thandeka Marie
Transformative Tarot Card Readings
Kristine’s readings are interactive. Together we will enter into a conversation, ignited by the cards that show up for your questions, and empowered with her (and your) intuition, insight and guidance about what they bring up for you; the past, present, and future. The more you are willing to go deeply into your own process and share what the images and archetypes elicit in you, the better the conversation and the results will be…View Profile