Who doesn’t get angry, sad, anxious or ambivalent? Who hasn’t behaved in a way we were later sorry for? While it may be human to deny our shadow tendencies, it’s by honoring our dark sides (without a need to deny them or justify them) that we welcome in more peace, change and growth. While honoring our dark sides is a choice, we can be sure that without making this choice we are prone to doing repeats of familiar negative experiences. So the question becomes how do we work with the shadow aspects of ourselves so that more light comes in, and different experiences present themselves?
- It’s never about what we think it’s about. It’s common to explain away our shadow selves by justifying behavior or belief systems. We can be so attached to our version of what’s happened or happening that we create a sort of dead-end, in which we make our relief contingent on someone or some thing else outside of ourselves. This will always accentuate the pain of disempowerment and result in more shadow behavior. So the key is to practice de-attaching one’s mindset from believing that our reasonings reflect the ultimate truth. Explaining things does little to honor our shadow sides. Rather de-attaching from our perspectives, gives our shadow selves some air to breathe and ease up. We need this spaciousness in order to breathe in new life and light into old structures. If you affirm mentally, “Word I am Word through all the perspectives I have been attached to,” spaciousness will begin to seep in.
- Broaden your viewpoint by having compassion for self and others involved. This helps us open up to other perspectives while seeing deeper issues in play. The hallmark of any wound is the feeling of disempowerment. The need for the psyche to feel cherished and important is basic to having a strong sense of emotional well-being. The absence of such creates pain giving birth to shadow perspectives and behaviors, to solve for the imbalance. Based on feelings of disempowerment humans have navigated a variety of ways to regain their sense of inner power. When we broaden our viewpoints to include compassion for ourselves and owning our true worth, we can receive our own pain without needing to make it about something outside of ourselves. We also realize that shadow behavior is usually steeped in some sort of pain and suffering that needs relief, even if it appears otherwise. Understanding and compassion are nutrients to the Soul energy that is You.
- Loving ourselves through the whole experience means that we drop the idea that something is wrong with ourselves, or that something is wrong with the person or circumstance we are dealing with. We are ever evolving and always learning, though the ego likes to think otherwise. Since learning involves trial and error, we choose a power position when we develop the inner strength to look within ourselves to solve for the suffering, instead of making it conditional on others or externals. Expressing or venting our frustrations is normal and natural, but there arrives a time of reckoning where we can roll up our sleeves and dig deep within, for the hidden answers our Higher Selves want us to discover. This takes time and a measure of commitment, but yields large rewards.
This practice can continually awaken us to the greatness we inherently are, but are still in the process of discovering. I enjoy working with people who hunger to experience more of the Light within themselves. Each session gifts one with more tools to work their evolvement independently with greater skill, and it’s exciting to really understand that the possibilities are endless. Best to you on your journey! With love and light, Lani